in process slowly

the world is filled with the well intentioned, the givers of help and support and constructive criticism. never mind the implied authority, the expectation of assigned superiority and returned appreciation. the afternoon is moving easily through a few major meltdowns at the local winco and bofa. tonight i await the unholy conferences with the major international airline about their faulty entry form that wont take roman numerals after the last name. all in the space of a day or a week or a life unexamined but awaiting a pretty fair autopsy. the last time i realized i would have to prepare for the last day the end of life, was a few weeks ago. the loss of home, family, love all those essentials were putting on the pressure but its always the multiple life threatening diseases that tend to put the real in front of the unreal. of course it was all before the ride through the looking glass when death becomes the lie and everything finally makes sense. we dont live at all we live in the graveyard, everyone that ever lived on this planet died here too and we stand on their bones. the only thing that separates us from them is a few  moments of imagined security, an excess of exuberance and some kind of happy pills. give those up and we are right there, tomorrow is another day and our children play games and we play ours. when do you think this will change, when will you start to question the reason your here, its not a pleasant answer. as the friends and relations start to slip underground it becomes a bit more pertinent in the life query, the reason we live is to answer that question, nothing makes sense until the whole world spins on its head and finds a new way of seeing. the light is turned on the moment, this moment. no one wants to look here, its a constant battle to remain while the world goes parading on. the soul, the being the realization of the unexperienced self changes the perspective, you arent there, you dont do anything. all the world is here and waits for you to appear. what you do is express the divine intention, raise the energy level in the systems you encounter. its not the words, its the transmission of the force. the more the ego moves out the more room there is for something real, something that doesnt die never ends, the real reason for meditation is to kill yourself while your living. thats why its so unpopular. the ego recognizes the death in the silence and stillness, the dread builds as the minutes tick away, the mind races to distract itself, it might have to consider its own illusion of existence. the mind has no self, the ego is just thoughts whirling in the head, theres no reality there just broken dreams and empty ideas, let it all go and see whats at the bottom of the pool, the blue patina of reflected sky, the reflection of the emptiness echoing off the emptiness and sounding hollow. then the being starts, the actual supreme existence can find a home, where nothing is added, just is, the be here now stuff, the power of now, not anything else, not the power of thinking but the being, alone, undivided, abiding...