2:30 am

moving to india time where my love now has landed, in a taxi bound for tiruvanammali. 13.5 hours later. its 4am there. What am i doing? going halfway around the world to see her. to follow my brother? his aim is some kind of liberation for me, but it looks odd. Its like his personality  determines the form of the final state. sure he's got force and thats unusual enough. the rest everyone tolerates. Then there is geo who is just lost since the change though not the crazy lost he was before.I just want to get through this thing. the other side of consciousness, where does it go? even in my teens i wanted to know- what is this shared state of awareness, this behind the eyeballs light that i could see when i looked deep. and who was this quiet self unthinking being in me that wanted to help everyone, connect to everyone and be loved? everywhere i went i just wanted to be that, not someone for myself but someone giving to and helping others. It seems now that its not considered ok to love and respect.I dont know where to go with that, except to ignore it. i can do the ego death thing and still be connected to what is true, its the only reason we exist. the being has the power to end everything, stop the game, but does not. And thats because the game is love. ascend as you are, come to the core of the being, and know supreme love for all the creation, the children, the world of truth is all love and can be whatever love can create. Without that, the game ends. Some of us have been there all our lives, most dont find this out until after they are reborn,or die.