safe to remove hardware

, what about the rest? the stuff thats not hardware but is hardwired into me? i need a safe way to disconnect and get untangled, this stuff is wrapped tight around my liver and spinal column. i feel like a walking advertisement for how to not go on the spiritual path. im a 61 yr old kid with no idea whats going on, just whistling in the graveyard and ready to run. theres no sense of progress or point to make, its like a dream without a dreamer, disconnected from the place where dreams originate. im the lost dream and theres no end to it, no waking up or even knowing where the dream comes from.its just a crazy place to be where the world kind of bends around the edges and the lights change color when they arent supposed to. sunsets are nice but im usually locked in a box with the rest of the crew, flying to the next space station that may or may not be there, in deep sleep, on life support with constant movies piped in, and ive lost the thread of who or where or when i am. its just another movie or is it. i feel like the earth is gone and the world is this dark tube im encased in, whatever this is please let me go before i forget everything and everybody. the light is changing again and im supposed to run out and jump on my scooter and feel the wind whip my body, hard and cold enough to make me believe, but everyday i turn the gas higher and higher to feel it feel something in this wispy world i dont believe in.