old habits live on

 the testing of the new against the dominion of the past. where is the end of its power over me. it is in the flesh and muscle and bone that time has secured its victory over puny aspiration and winged divinity. it is a war and the battle is the parade of responses that come unbidden to the undisciplined mind, that corrupt a heart recently open and vulnerable, place the herculean task of digging out each entrenched reaction and regression into infancy of the body as it implacably digs in its horny heels and says NO emphatically and continuously. there is no expert advice here, except to surrender at this point, the enemy is you and has won completely and totally there is no shame in defeat only in fighting on senselessly and without honor.here is a good place to throw yourself at Mothers feet and cry with the very tears the body would use to ensure victory. but then a special event occurs, there is in you a revolution, a 5th column the desperate and determined underground that comes alive at Mothers touch and destroys the insidious monster of the body, that capsizes the ocean liner of mastery that the responses of the body hold over the mind and heart and vital, the spirit invades from within and overcomes each banded cell of resistance and frees the minions of the molecules to experience the descending grace that transforms and enlightens all. then the work can actually begin without negation and strife, without internal pain and revulsion, without waiting for the uncontrollable flesh to subside. here is the being free to claim the home of the spirit and the temple of the divine.