when im confronted with my own reactions. to not feel connected or even want to be connected, feels like death and the end of wanting to live. To me without some connection to the absolute in everyone, theres no life, its a phony feeling, a hurt where there should be a joy. i want to love everyone, but i want them to not be unmindful of their own actions consequences. When they arent and it repeats and repeats the connection is broken, by me. i cant feel it anymore, i go into my pain. what is it in the irresponsibility of others that hurts so much, i know i want to be seen as just the same as them, how i treat each person i want to also be treated, is that unnatural?unspiritual? what is spiritual? theres no meaning to it it doesnt hold any answers, its just everyones catchall for anything they want to believe. where is the truth in spiritual, in the heart, theres no words, no books or behaviors that are there, but everyone thinks its some special, equanimity, perfect acting way to be, and i say its being real down to the dirt in the gut that makes the pain feel bad. its the honesty and the humility of knowing theres no right way to do this. its just a hard road, that becomes the only way and theres no stopping once your rolling down the hill.
No comments:
Post a Comment