and half above the early signs of life, the orange and sodium lit bulbs scattered through the village buildings.i stare at the dark outline of Arunachala, i will never see it the same again, the lord of the mountain has touched me and i will forever be pulled, half of me is there now, with Jyoti, staring out from the top of the world at the same stars but so much more reachable from there. i am lifted and taken a flow of divine energy from that tiny topmost hut and cave and rocks and monkey treed home, and know that the morning salutations and pujas are even now being prepared, chants begun and 3 hours will continue, everyday for 20 years and to me was given the gift of his darshan and grace, his gurus blessing his eternal love. what am i in this play of the universes and all the glory of god and kings and saints. i feel so small and grateful to be able to experience even a moment of the indescribable purity of this mountain and Shiva's grace. the universe keeps sending me love messages and directions and i unknowing keep receiving them and going as a fool without a care would, stumbling upon the truth and delighting in the magic that never ceases and envelopes me like the very stuff of love and life and natural joy that is the reward for whatever i have done and can hope to do. in faith i come and with joy i become whatever the light would show me.
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