how do I manage the truth

how do I manage the truth, I mean I know everything is a fraud, it doesn't matter what you do or how you do it, in the end the game is over and that's all there is. this world this picture show, this life is for each moment and in the end its done, no one hands out little trophies or even slaps you on the back, it doesn't matter how good you are or how bad you were, all is the intergalactic dust dissipating. once it was coalescing then it got too hot and dark then it exploded, now its still expanding but slowed way down, pretty soon in universal terms, it'll start coalescing again, in the mean time lots of stuff comes and goes, mostly goes I would have to say, and comes around once in a while to have some high life and do and say whatever but eventually its all dust all gone, not even a bit part in major production. sure theres internal continuity but that's just the weak force trying to keep things close for the big re-combine that's coming. what theres left to act from is compassion but that's a very subjective function. what's compassionate can be love and understanding for one and a kick in the head for another, one person may be truly suffering with the false notion that they are indeed a being in a body and going through some kind of spiritual alienation schizophrenic malaise and for another it might be their team lost the pennant both have the same validity. I dropped my ice cream on the ground and it melted and it ran inside my shoe and now my socks are all squishy and moms ignoring me, that's now that's loss and guilt and fear and torment in the moment probably a more valid form of suffering in terms of immediacy and honesty, but like we all tell our children take the long view, the big picture, no immediate gratification, delay that urge surrender that passion, until it becomes existential. and then theres the love children, and yes that's a great time, fly high be in love know one another as each other and merge into the goddess/god/saint/being/mother/bhagavan/swamiji and you may have divine bliss and joy till the end of your days, if you follow all the right steps. the whole unconditional love thing always seems to have a few of those hanging around. in the end I just am looking for a peaceful spot to rest and make my way at my own pace, i'm no longer racing or even driving, i'm slowly walking through what is left of this life, feeling my own sense of completion and recognizing, theres nothing to do anymore. everything is done and gone without me doing a thing. i'm not even here. life has some funny notions of what truth looks like, it doesn't have anyway to dress it up or put a paint job on it, it just sticks out like the sore carcass it is. and that's all there is.