what i am

what i am, the nature of the being alive in a field of nonbeing, is a plane of consciousness that alights between the eyes of the physical being, bringing a layer of experience to the disembodied self that exists only in the physical world. my reactions to this world are much like that of an alien being thrust onto earth due to a failure of his interstellar craft. a stranger in a strange land surrounded by beauty and mystery but understanding nothing. touched by the kindness of strangers and wounded by those trusted the sense of proportion and discrimination is developed, and suffers from an unusual proportion of attention. i see light like a plate of delicious food, but i cannot taste it, the universe is there but i cannot reach out and grasp its gigantic everything, the swinging stars and galactic clouds drifting naked in the emptiness of night, the light of the nearest star hot fruitful painfully bright, and i know i am but a speck of the cosmos and can never know what the greatest light could be beyond the trillions of stars beyond the regions of exploding galaxies, the density of crushed stars sucking all the light into themselves and the oasis that this planet small as it is to life to love to become everything to each creature upon its soil, what Mother earth has done in the face of universal chaos, brings all understanding to an end and demands only my devotion and surrender. for here though i have come from where no man exists here is the home that i have found and love. where consciousness can grow, where the heart unfettered by thought can experience the madness of all and feel the truth of its movement, sway to the universes rhythms, there is the sacred place the concentration of awareness and being protected and wild as the whole of creation, but scared as a motherless child, left to find its own and held by another until all else fails and only love can guide the soul free of the emptiness and destruction, and what is meaningless is suddenly seen not as a jumble of disconnected shapes but a magical dimensional hologram that reveals its true nature not in the way pieces fit together but in how they change the depth of the perciever to see the reality hidden within, for each glance at the pieces of the broken mirror cannot reflect the entirety, but to look within where the light is pointing brings revelation of the inner divine. the trail of the world is a magical jungle, a forested desert and featureless plain, oceans unchanging and a sky without end, yet the universe sees this only as the grain of sand upon its distant shore. what is happening here is protected and unnoticed so that the truth may be brought forward as a whole when it is ready, for as we expand into the infinite, the universe disappears and only the source remains. this is the source and the cord that leads within, be ever thankful for our smallness.