we exist not as a group

we exist not as a group or collective, there is no sense of an army of minds or souls marching together. we are alone, there is no we but the hope that there is another in this separateness of existence.every particle is made of parts but each part acts according to its own nature, every atom creates its own world of electrons protons neutrons and lives that life despite any attachment to another atom, so hydrogen and carbon though married, do not change, do not become one another though their union creates a possibility of a greater molecule. though there comes a chain of entrained particles, each plays its role and does not become something else, change its inherent nature. it merely acts in accord with the external requirements.yet in each atom, in each subatomic particle, there is a consciousness, to become that which creates, to become that which created itself, for the unconscious notion that we are created and not just self made, that this consciousness comes from someone, somewhere other, is inherent in everything, we are separated, but from what, from a source, from a template that was designed, that had intelligence that evolved and is evolving us, as a reflection of its own creation and end, we imagine god as ourselves but greater and more perfected, but still as personal and approachable to those that prove themselves worthy. and somehow its a life devouring task to become worthy. but the truth is there is no other, it is a fruitless task to become worthy to oneself, for we know our own failings too well to lie effectively to our self. the truth is i am, and thats the end of existence, all else is just conjecture, for where i am ends, you do not begin, nothing begins, the emptiness and truth reside. i dont become you or them or all or some, but rather just I in greater and greater perspective, the aloneness does not shatter, it becomes so great, it cant be seen or felt, the sense of other finally disappears with the unending changeless nature of being, and what was a quest to find oneself, becomes the end of all self and dissolves every notion of life and death. nothing is supreme and from that there is oneness unresolved.the creation, the miracle of being recognized separate from the one, is a symptom of the illusion of existence, awareness, consciousness. all is truth though nothing endures beyond the dream, and what is now impossible to disbelieve, becomes a fragment of light, a shadow from a passing cloud and left alone, vanishes.

the eternity we think we are

the eternity we think we are is a trap of the mind, there is no sense of time or timelessness, the state of unbeing is empty of comparison or identification. there is

simply no thing or other or place or time to be. transcending the duality creates indescribable nature, the mind exists as the plaything of the heart, it is this or that, here or there, always a relative position always a comparison, good or bad hot

or cold, this discrimination of the interpreter, not the experience itself. the unqualified nature of existence is but a taste of the experience of what is without the observer or the observed. there is no nature of reality, it is the nature of awareness to become consciousness and thereby know and experience what alone is unknowable nonexistence. the instant consciousness arises in the formlessness, there

is a here amidst the unendingness. waves of distortion arise with the perception of

collection and differentiation. there is no why but what no who but how, how am and

what am, not who am or why am. no reaction but perception. the absorption implies

density amidst transparency, a collection among the unassociated. a point of

perceptive awareness becomes a collection of associated perceptions, the mass or lack

of mass,the depth or flatness, the planes of dimensional awareness become the first

perceived waves of distortion.and through these distortions matter and space are

brought into perceived focus. that is the first when, the layers of energy became

entrained to the perceiving consciousness and experience individual attributes, the

singular state perceived in the non defined field of energy. that at this point there

is interacting with the perciever a field that has distorted to the state of the

perciever, establishing a phasing in and out of the energetic continuum that creates a

perceived separation from one state to the next though they exist simultaneously in

all states and in none.so the perciever through the density of associated perception

creates a distortion of the state of equilibrium of non associated energy, changing

the field to a point of attenuation, to a state of one pointedness within the field of

energy, distorting the unassociated field into a layered continuum of possibilities

and probabilities based on the nature of the distortion intersecting the field. so

existence ravels the unformed continuity into its own state of compressed distortion.

from this is born the collection of field states that lead to particles and charge

potentials that eternally try to relieve the continuous distorting field of

consciousness upon the unlayered continuum.

what i am

what i am, the nature of the being alive in a field of nonbeing, is a plane of consciousness that alights between the eyes of the physical being, bringing a layer of experience to the disembodied self that exists only in the physical world. my reactions to this world are much like that of an alien being thrust onto earth due to a failure of his interstellar craft. a stranger in a strange land surrounded by beauty and mystery but understanding nothing. touched by the kindness of strangers and wounded by those trusted the sense of proportion and discrimination is developed, and suffers from an unusual proportion of attention. i see light like a plate of delicious food, but i cannot taste it, the universe is there but i cannot reach out and grasp its gigantic everything, the swinging stars and galactic clouds drifting naked in the emptiness of night, the light of the nearest star hot fruitful painfully bright, and i know i am but a speck of the cosmos and can never know what the greatest light could be beyond the trillions of stars beyond the regions of exploding galaxies, the density of crushed stars sucking all the light into themselves and the oasis that this planet small as it is to life to love to become everything to each creature upon its soil, what Mother earth has done in the face of universal chaos, brings all understanding to an end and demands only my devotion and surrender. for here though i have come from where no man exists here is the home that i have found and love. where consciousness can grow, where the heart unfettered by thought can experience the madness of all and feel the truth of its movement, sway to the universes rhythms, there is the sacred place the concentration of awareness and being protected and wild as the whole of creation, but scared as a motherless child, left to find its own and held by another until all else fails and only love can guide the soul free of the emptiness and destruction, and what is meaningless is suddenly seen not as a jumble of disconnected shapes but a magical dimensional hologram that reveals its true nature not in the way pieces fit together but in how they change the depth of the perciever to see the reality hidden within, for each glance at the pieces of the broken mirror cannot reflect the entirety, but to look within where the light is pointing brings revelation of the inner divine. the trail of the world is a magical jungle, a forested desert and featureless plain, oceans unchanging and a sky without end, yet the universe sees this only as the grain of sand upon its distant shore. what is happening here is protected and unnoticed so that the truth may be brought forward as a whole when it is ready, for as we expand into the infinite, the universe disappears and only the source remains. this is the source and the cord that leads within, be ever thankful for our smallness.

your heart gives life

your heart gives life, never stopping, never pausing, eternally cycling the life giving blood through the lungs to capture the breath. air and blood, the mixture of eternal life, the fluid that carries the oxygen to the body, captures the waste of the cells and is cleaned with the movement through the organs, the delicate cycle that maintains the physical being. without it life is not possible. so too is the aspiration of seeker, the force that pulls the undying self within, to find love and truth wherever it might be. aspiration carries the grace of the Mother from the union of the Divine with the spiritual heart, called Love. Love is the oxygen of devotion, it fills the heart with untold possibility and permeates every barrier with flexibility and freedom. the broken find healing, the impatient find stillness, the unmotivated find purpose, the aged find youth and the young find wisdom. what was not possible becomes easy and what could not be done is miraculously accomplished. The seeker becomes the finder of every hearts desire and lets go of need and despair. when everything is given there is no more want or separation. to have is to share and without thinking love is everywhere, fulfilling your life and touching all those around you. what matter the outcome of the action, when done with love there is only more love created. we cannot see the future or even guess what happened before, we exist in a bubble called now, everything is here and experienced in this moment, all else is faulty memory and conjecture. the construct of the mind in the human that tries to control the now becomes the plaque in the arteries of love, constricting and blocking the flow. it fills the now with the illusion of the not now, and creates turmoil and anxiety. everything is now, and to imagine that its not is to be living in delusion, dreaming with eyes open, seeing and hearing and feeling imagined events. it is only the memory that creates untruth, and projects it on the now. creating what is mistakenly called the future. while in this delusion, there is no possibility of experiencing truth, love or peace. only the half truth and anxious worry of control based thinking. let go the mind, let go the controlling nature, for the Divine Unmanifest is already preparing everything for you, just as it has since existence began and you were already conceived. for everything is accomplished in the now eternally, every microscopic bit of existence from the beginning to the end is in play and is done now. who you are and all you experience is the manifestation of the Divine's now, the eternal and infinite moment that forms everything as it will be even as it is created.your life is a flash of a mirror in the sun, the universe a grand instant of conception that gives birth and dies even as it is expressed. you have no way to change the flow or pattern except to accept and surrender to the divine power that creates and destroys all even as it savors the fullness of the progression and dissolution in its infinitely minute detail. you are the brush on the canvas, dipped in a mixture of colors and set into a mosaic beyond comprehension, enjoy the stroke that is you and live with the love of the hand holding you and using your uniqueness to enhance her design.

form, objects come from a single source

form, objects come from a single source, all at one time were connected in a field of potential energy in its pure  undifferentiated state.  the transformation from unmanifest potential, to the conscious manifested existence, created a field of order and structure that spread universally. the expansion recreates the original conscious force of light through endless repetitions and recombinations. this universal conscious manifestation of the creative impulse created a dissociative disparity in the continuity of the whole, the original separation from itself, from the unmanifest potentiality, so each object, particle carries a field of the original undifferentiated oneness and its own consciousness of separate existence. This universal duality is powered by the field of pure oneness contained wholly in each particle, that is trying to detemporize (eliminate the effects of time and space) with each interaction with other particles, attracted through the field of undifferentiated oneness, to the original non-structure, the unified field. each particle is attempting to end the separation through recombination to lower and lower states of energy with other particles, gaining mass and density, until they are neutralized and through the function of black holes, energy vortexes, and are returned to the state of pure potential, without any form or structure. this process created the attractive force that is the field phenomena of the interacting particles that is trying to restore the original unified field of non separated existence. at present this attractive force is coexisting with the expansion of the explosive force of conscious manifested existence as separate and realized from the source of unmanifest potential. Light, consciousness/awareness, the original force, created vibration in the undifferentiated potential and this set the blueprint for creation, the movement of force throughout emptiness, this created waves of potential that interacted and formed layers of density that evolved through the original vibration to greater and lesser combinations of that force and in the greatest formation matter densified and in the opposite realm light achieved unending universal expansion, everywhere light travelled, creation evolved in unending levels of density and possibilities, all unified from the original vibration, each reflecting an aspect of that movement. in the densest matter there created a well of attraction to matter so powerful, that vibrated with such intensity, with such darkness and densification, that all matter is drawn to it, all light is sucked into its vibrational attraction, so that the highest vibration and the lowest vibration of the original force combine and are nullified, returning all to the undifferentiated state of pure unmanifest potential. this is our universe and it is forever vibrating to endless combinations, each a note in the universal symphony, the cosmic lightshow that never ends.

we can hardly bear

we can hardly bear the ten minute wait for some small thing we desire, yet we toss around the concepts of infinite and eternal. one lifetime spent in denial brings such heartless pain that even a moment of that despair is beyond comprehension. yet here we ask forbearance and patience for the process to do its work, to annihilate the self the ego the desire based construct of the mind. as every instinct battles to survive the willful destruction of the usurper, life becomes a battle to endure without creating more suffering, more reactions that are the tools of the very enemy you wish to conquer. when i arise hours before the dawn and finger brush my unkempt matted hair into place,i ponder my place my home my life as a man might who has nothing to gain by remaining or by going. all choices are irrelevant to the life of service, any are a sacrifice to exist for the work of divine surrender. can there be a life if there is no self to live it, no pleasure based experiencer that takes the credit and the passion for itself. this light within, the pressure of a divine encouragement that brings the shakti of bliss and the forgetfulness of devotion, opens a door to perceive the nature of the relationship of man and god as one yet differentiated in the creation for the possibility of self  to surrender to the self as a child to the mother, as the lover to the beloved for there is no loss or reduction except by the diminution of the consciousness the experience to such a limited degree that even the obvious becomes distorted into painful untruths. that life is not the creation of the human though we bear children and manipulate tools and write books and tell stories.that the ancients saw clearly what is now lost in the tidal wave of information, in the blizzard of bits and bytes of useless facts, that all creation comes from an unknowable source and everything is its domain and we the minutest fraction of that endless force, have access to all its glory and splendor as the very children of the supreme loved and cared for given everything, and then gently or sometimes harshly reminded, that we are not to remain as children forever but are to take our rightful place as the creator as the lord and lady of the keep. but like all children everywhere, the world is a huge play land and terrible distraction and this smallness and shortness intensifies the emotions and reactions. each moment another surprise or danger brings deadly fear and trepidation. and the eyes and hands and sex and lies and the fear that stifles everything that needs to be cut with a knife, exploded with a bomb, shaken until it drops. for we are not that, not that, we are that which cannot be killed or even touched, not hurt or exalted, each one of us is the master and the supreme in the form of a child, a petulant and spoiled, loving and sweet, angry and tortured, adolescent learning what the supreme nature truly becomes and enlivens, and when that maturity comes, all the toys of the past are let go, and truth as a light beyond knowing comes forth and the way is open for love to bring all together beyond suffering and death, to the life without boundaries life that knows there is no end to what is beginning.

what is created here

what is created here has no name, its flavor that of freedom, but who can say what each man experiences. the like of this is always changing, and the shaking leaf cannot fall, for the wind blows ever harder yet the stem will not give up its hold. we flutter in the breezes of the Mothers force, as all is hers we cannot fail, yet to attempt the impossible has no understanding. this life lived as one of miracles and joy seems a benign folly yet only truth exists within its shield. we remain unknown, little recognized except by those that have the power to see and hold this light unreserved in their hearts.none can come but are called by Mother, and none can stay that are not.but in this shell of  undying love there is nothing taken only offered, the chance of life without bars and ends, instead the universe is an open field and all the children play as if the whirling galaxies existed only for them and none other. here the light is never harsh and the emptiness never near, what is shared is love and joy and peace and understanding, like some fairy tale that has no finish but is written new every day. this life, this love i give to you my Mother for from you all things spring anew and fresh. as i kneel in gratitude, humbly to be your servant and lover, son and brother, with you and for you this life is lived. though uncharted and unknown we travel never alone but always protected and assured of every blessing for none is needed and all is offered to your divine life and this heart made a home.

who are you, why do you exist

who are you, why do you exist, what is true, real, what does it matter. these are all thoughts all thoughts have their source in perception of the senses, all senses are reflections of the divine form that cannot be perceived, so in the mind is the realization that all thought is corrupted, all is based on false data, all leads to doubt and self manufactured truths. all sense perception is a removal from the truth, everything outside of the body decays changes  is devoured by time. the seat of true perception, is the heart, it has no sense organ, it perceives truth directly, for it is within that all things are connected, without all things are separate. but in the heart there is the direct experience of truth of divine nature, of the reality that cannot be seen through the senses. in the heart, the universe exists as pure energy, traveling through the portal of this system, every system is a portal to the energy of creation and life. the heart is the electron, entrained with the pure electron of existence and always going through the same state as that particle no matter where it is. if connected or disconnected, because both are one and the same field, the field of existence, the field of potential and manifested creation. once in the field of potential as all existence is, then forever connected to that unmanifest state. from this all comes and so all is linked without any physical connection. everything is in a realized state of potentiality. from this state the form decays slowly back to that unrealized potentiality. it is not permanent, nothing is permanent, but everything is changing constantly, because the state of realization is dependent on the consciousness that realizes it. the nature of the system that is consciously or unconsciously manifesting its form. in this state, the physical, things are more solid, more fixed by nature so there is more energy used to realize a form, and likewise the idea of permanence is relative to the length of memory and concentration of the consciousness. to hold a form takes a state of perfection, that enables the form to stay realized. the single pointedness of that concentration is difficult for the consciousness to maintain as everything around it is in a flux of change, the mind can realize a state of awareness, a state of consciousness more easily than it can maintain a form. so its best to hold your state and not your form, the form is dependent on so many factors, but consciousness is all internal and all the elements of its existence can be held internally. to exist is to declare your intention to be alive, to interact with the universe from a shell of the universal reflection of truth, not as truth itself, for that is what being alive is, a seeking of that truth and the insatiable need to become one with the permanent, the unchanging, the atman of our one true nature, indivisible and forever ours.

what is your desire?

what is your desire? are you the one that has gone beyond? or are you the one in the pudding, in the soup of it? the longing the wanting the needing, its exquisite. the object doesnt really matter, its that feeling like you cant wait, you cant breathe you have to have it, the thing, the feeling of pure desire, flowing like hot lava through every fiber of your body. the body loves a good need, it has a purpose, the mind loves to dwell to obsess, its built for that, everything else disappears but the wanting, and then theres the getting, even if its just a bag at the store, or its that last piece of clothing, the satisfaction hits like a truck, the getting, the self is satiated, only to slowly realize that it wants more, soon, now, quickly. addiction, desire obsession wanting. these are the truth of life. its not the having or the using, those are small pleasures, like a nap on a warm day, but the heat of the need is like a sun going off in the brain and a bullet hitting the flesh, the sudden realization that the body is in need. the more the more the greater and greater urgency. soon its just a cycle of depression with small peaks as the urgency becomes dulled in the senses, overloaded, but it continues to seek that initial satisfaction, that orgasm of relief, that i got it, its mine, its safe, its done, but each time it returns, the beast of no end, more. so what happens when you try to break the addiction to the object, drugs, food, possessions, sex, money, it may stop the accumulation of that object but another takes its place. smokers know this, the weight gain, the shopping network, its all a charade, the need continues. the only relief comes when the need is stopped. and how is that accomplished? stopping what wants, becoming needless. Practice giving, sacrifice, unselfish behaviors, doing things not for you, but for others, without any reward but the doing. this is the quickest way, for you will find that doing for others creates joy instead of satisfaction and love instead of desire. its only the desire that wants something for its actions, its only desire that gets irritated at the delay or even the afterglow when the satisfaction is blunted by repetition. do what is needed, not by you, but for someone who is in need, of something you have. Give, offer, surrender to sacrifice and feel the true sense of who you are, not an obsessed creature but a being of luminous generosity and care, able to surrender your own feelings of want and need, and let go of the self, let go of the human demands for a higher purpose, the love for all and the end of possession and greed.

what time have any of us

what time have any of us, where is there time and what is it made of. the experiences are unmistakable, the emptying of the self, the emptiness at the core of what is there. the space of time is endless and has no meaning but to accompany the form in its dance. for what we see as solid and real is but the field of potential reacting to consciousness, becoming an instant of positioning, in the universal. all exists simultaneously in every aspect and state, unmatched and in conspicuous disarray, it is the software of the mind that imposes the design of spatial and chronological orders.what is life, the discovery of the pattern in the the formless potential of being, seeing a beginning middle and end where there is nothing but energy, beyond pattern or form. what is now but the touching of that potential and bringing it into being. we are the blueprint of creation, we wield the magic of consciousness to shape the energy into what we experience. from the shapeless comes all form and desire is the mould, what we desire becomes and becomes and we become that just as it becomes what we fill our consciousness with. but at the same time consciousness is implanting these desires within. the universe is in the expansion mode, there was a tremendous release of energy after the last contraction, creating all the universe in this fashion, we are the potential made realized, this universe the vision of the master imposed upon the potential contained in the unmanifest, in this expansion all things look outward, to the frontiers and world around, for all things are growing and evolving. but what is it the awakened being say? return to the one, see all as the union, become the emptiness, the return to potential. and why? because the universe must rebalance itself, end the endless expansion and creation and become the singularity, so in this universe, the spiritual being is the force of entropy, to return this manifestation to the field of unmanifest potential and await the next yuga. in the expansion a trillion billion stars were created and each a marker of the universal expansion, each a being of pure energy made into matter and pure consciousness. as stars evolve they crush themselves into a singularity of such density they become black holes and in that state the begin to devour the existence around them and return it into unformed potential energy returned to its unmanifest state. all is working to devolve this universe back to potential, for forces want their own creation unblemished by what now exists.this KaliYuga is mindless expansion, begun from pure expression of the unstructured awakening. all is chaos and then perfection, all is possible and permanent. as we become awakened we realize that all is awaiting the return to the natural state, the unmanifest state, the endless unaware, potential that needs nothing and never changes.yet it is inevitable that some force will emerge to create a new Yuga a new universe, and in that existence will be some other form of awareness and consciousness, imposing itself on what cannot be determined. and that will become what will be known as existence.

the work is love

the work is love, it has no end. everyday with everyone it is before me and all those that feel the force within. there is no separation from life but rather a close and natural knowledge of the shared consciousness that all enjoy. consciousness has no possession no wanting, but the ego does and as the ego sits in front of consciousness in the mind so it becomes the desire body and the point of identification with the world and all the objects of the senses.as the human system learns to identify what is around it, the sights sounds smells feelings, it feels the pure joy of experience and transfers that delight into the objects as if the objects themselves are creating the delight carrying the force of joy and bliss in their forms.this leads to the identification with the objects, this brings joy, this brings sorrow, this is good, this is bad, soon the self is trapped in a world of reactions to the belief that the objects of the world are the containers of the experiences. the proof of who we are is not in the world around us, though that is the reflection of the self, but rather in the innate knowledge that nothing is separate from the self, everything is linked and acquires its inner volition from our attention and life force connecting to that which is immediately linked as the self connects to that which is connected. we acquire the body we learn in a way that we are the body, we think with the brain, hear with the ears, see with the eyes, feel with the skin, then as we have learned to master these instruments, the learned remains and it becomes a new arena of experiences as we realize we are not just the body but are the entire world and each and everything is like a new appendage and organ and thought processor. the new context for the self is non-self, rather all self, everything we experience is just the self connecting to itself. we think with the light of all consciousness and see with light of all the stars and suns, the earth is the playground for the university of the universe. we become all that we experience. as we drop our smallness and human identity, we become the larger and more unlimited context of awareness, experiencing everything not as the other but as our own self, body and soul one combined being filled beyond knowing and yet still contained as our own consciousness learns to expand to greater and greater experience and consciousness. this process is the evolution, it is the result naturally of becoming alive and aware in a body and then understanding our role in the universe. we are the experiencer, the knower, the creator and the created, becoming one and the same as what is experienced as self expands to greater and greater dimensions until even that limitation becomes restrictive and that which cannot be experienced for there is no context in the final awareness, becomes the totality without end. from there the words disappear the ideas end and this path to who we really are, begins. 

in the human nature

in the human nature, there is the feeling that change must be immediate and permanent. That even if 50 years have been spent solidifying the negative, it must all be changed in a short time, as if a few weeks or months of effort should be sufficient to dig beneath the foundations of untruth and unearth the palace of unending joy and love and supplant the structures of the deadening beliefs and overwhelming vital emotions that have been in place for decades. its not that one needs despair to rule them but a bit of practical advice, what has taken ages to put into place takes a huge energy to overcome. part of this comes from the Master, the agent of the Mother in physical form that allows prakriti to be overruled even in her own domain. That Guru energy enables the mountain to be moved, but the mountain still is there, just now the building of Mothers palace can begin. human nature though still visits that mountain of earthly worship and vital insistence's and it isnt until the Palace of the Mother is complete and the consciousness firmly settled inside that the mountain is blown away in the wind of overwhelming transformation. where truth prevails, there in that truth is the love and  joy of knowing that it is not our effort that creates and sustains life and movement on this creation but it is only the Mothers work that does it all, there is where change can occur, for it is the untruth that allows no movement for what is untruth but the illusion of change as in changing your hairstyle or your shoes is the transformation you are looking for. that illusion must be destroyed, the illusion that anything humanly possible can effect the transformation of the human into something greater. it is not the force of the monkey that  brings forth the evolutionary process, the Divine alone decrees the design that allows the structure to change. for it is the design of the system and not the system itself that creates the possibility for change. its the way the elements bond and combine that allow the structures to be created and that allow the structures to change, the structures themselves are all transitional and not to be retained once they have been formed and brought to fruition. the next and the next need to be brought and the old only serves to be a hindrance to the new. all change takes time, for there is the requirement that change be a fundamental shift that occurs in all parts of the system, the physical, vital, mental and psychic, only then is the potential of the system realized and the necessary pathways created both in and between the systems to allow the dynamic evolution through the encoding of the supramental force on the arrangement of the elements that comprise the basis of each component and processing pathway. as this force works time ceases to be a component of awareness and the infinite nature of reality is revealed and experienced. only then can the true sense of the eternal depth of being that we truly are be felt and the sense of the unending work that needs to be done to accomplish this for those who are drawn to the Mother, be realized.

What can be said

what can be said of New York and the Divine Shakti Center, Mothers Home. For me, the sincerity and devotion mixed with the purpose and work creates a sense of love and sharing that completes all the facets of Mothers teachings.

Mother's Grace,

i know i am not strong nor can i overcome the weakness i feel. only the divine Grace can help me. in every moment i feel the human and cannot move, then the Mother descends and there is an opening not a great one but just enough to move, to unstuck my fear or irresolution, to move with pain or with surety that pain is coming. in the divine there is no doing it for me, but there are a million tiny blessings to take me from abject despair to getting on my feet and doing service. the movement is just from the bottom of my heart to the middle where i am floating on the water and not sinking .this is all that i can expect, that there is the strength to take the next step and then the next every day until the weeks and months and years pass and the load is lessened and the burden relieved through the attention to service and  cleaning. for it is this work that the Mother uses to inject in me the force that will carry me past the next hurdle, through the next barricade and every day a hundred will appear, just thoughts of darkness or weakness, unhealthy actions and feelings, each weighing me down as the path continues without either beginning or end to be found. Mother has no feeling for the weakness, she is not an enabler of my victim, but when i ask and resolve to rise above what seems impossible to overcome, She does send her force to relieve the unworkable nature of my attitude and beliefs. there is still the physical reality but the personalities begin to soften and positions shift into alignment with the Divine purpose and the heart begins to recognize that in each situation love can work a miracle if its repeated consistently even when it looks impossible.

This is my prayer to Mother,

 Divine Mother, i come to thee with only my heart open to you, to feel your love and grace in my life and to know that in your service my life has purpose and meaning. all else i surrender to you and give each moment to you and your Divine love .

what is Divine?

what is Divine? the word we use so simply, but there is no word for this. it is the supreme expression of the eternal being, the complete and unending perfection of all existence encompassing and fulfilling each and every requirement that existence needs to continue. and why would some unknowable possibility beyond comprehension, do all this? who can ever even touch upon that? the seers and wise men have all said, this is the dream of the supreme being, experiencing an out of body awareness, becoming the knower of the being, a separate self, engaged in the art of knowing. and all this creation just the evolution of the knower to learn how to know the supreme. for what is beyond our knowing, is what we are here to learn, and all lessons in life are to teach us to go beyond what we know, what we believe and find a higher understanding, an expanded awareness, another level of consciousness, and to find out that each is just a stepping stone to the next level, not an end in itself. Further, always further, never become stuck in one place, continue to evolve your ability to expand, to learn, to see beyond the visible, into the invisible, into that darkness that hides all truth. for what is it that holds us back, that limits our progress that causes pain, the holding on to old ideas, old feelings, old lives. Thats why this process we are going through is all about Letting Go. you cant go further unless you let go of the past, and everything is the past, one second ago you were, now you are, and theres no in between, you either are or you were, theres no other state. as soon as you become your past, you cease to contribute to the present, the present is all about whats is now, what is new now, not ten minutes ago, not last week, month year, decade, century. Those who dwell in the past are repeating it, its inevitable and continuous that living in the past will do that.Being open and present allows the universe to take you where you need to be when its the perfect time to be there. So the supreme is here now, you experience the divine as its created, in the moment, not in the emptiness of the past. what is past is fixed and unchangeable, only the present has movement and potential and only now can change anything. as soon as you stop living in the unworkable past, the present offers everything as possible. its called freedom, and its right here right now for everyone to experience. your purpose is to learn how to learn, to learn to be in the now and accept what the universe is trying to show us to teach us to expand us so we can know the unknowable, there is no other way but to surrender to this process and BE!

there is no love greater

there is no love greater than this divine fire burning the emptiness, the darkness and turning my life to the fullness of truth and her love. wherever love blossoms life thrives, grows, replenishes, the divine enters that moment and all things become hers, supreme and attractive, complete and fulfilled. the lower nature is raised up, the higher nature expands and envelopes the senses with the flowers of surrender and gratitude, humility of presence and aspiration only to serve and feel this supernal being that brings unbearable joy and light into every heart around. timelessness pervades all, mindfulness is emptied and every heart swells with this beacon of purity and sincerity, the room fills with her presence only and all eyes become hers staring into the depths of who is really there, each the soul of her soul and each filled with perfect silence, surrounded in her world speaking the heart and the soul as only a child could know, without pretense, without desire, without separation from anyone there. empty, filled, both uplifted and lifting up each one, as if none could be more but each can take an oar and help to bring this boat to shore. what great sacrifice is before us and already the world cannot bear to wait another instant for this magic to unfold, the love is growing and expanding from each to the other and from all to everyone they touch. bring life, bring love bring all hearts to this altar so they too can be surrendered and devoted to the work of unending fullness and purpose from her lips to the ears of every being working through the divine awakening, bring aliveness and love everywhere and without thought of what will happen but her will be performed and every chance is taken where perfection can be manifest and all heart shaken awake that this life is here and each shares her divine awareness and being. none can know the true nature that lies within without her hand to guide and help forward, the laughing smile, the knowing eyes, the trusting heart will shine through every difficulty and none will remain behind.

i am a mishapen gnome

i am a misshapen gnome, a lucifer in the fire beside christ, in my empty words nothing is created, little is expressed but doubt and disbelief. i might go on for hours but everything is but the invention of the rational the consort of the irrational which would be preferable for it makes no claim to truth only to the unbelievable. i know not one word i speak can change anything or be anything but sound and noise carried faintly in the wind or be read just before exhaustion closes the eyes. my own self, the one tininess that is here listens to the voice of the mother and each syllable dives into the heart and lodges there, expanding with love and joy and devotion until the frail self surrenders and gushes forth as the truth of blood would attest to the human inside. and in that life ending explosion, the child is born, the heart is healed and love begins to flow like a river and who she is holds me and frees me from the arms of the illusion and the lies of the mind. never have i slept but in her bed, assured of morning and trusting with a heart made pure in her divine giving that is like the river flowing and never ending creating lifetimes of ship builders and boats built and forever grateful to be sailing to her ocean of eternal peace. it is her uncompromising heart, that demands all pretense be put aside and all self manufactured truths be seen as the falsities of pride that bring me to tears and make me realize my petty ways and the gratitude it creates in me sets free the humility and love that i would place at her feet if only to show myself i have finally found the place that is right and i know will always be there for all and i am just one and never more than a face of the divine living 9 billion lives each her child and alone until her light shines within and sets them free to surrender to her unending heart.

to review the status of living

to review the status of living, to understand not only mentally but in the entire system, the field of self existence in its multi layered consciousness, is to create the context of what is existence and its relationship to consciousness that is the knower of all and the perceiver of its endless intricacies. the being exists in you in me in every living and conscious human, nature as the force of the endless progress of existence has brought forth the human as the vehicle for the one purpose, to bring forth the knower of the being, to experience that which is the only truth in and beyond all measure as known to man or beast. the truth is unknowable to the finite nature and cannot be measured or compared to anything for it encompasses all things. as the scriptures say in all sacred writings that which is supreme contains all things but is not present in each thing, that it is not in the external object or individual that the supreme resides but within is where the supreme nature is found and it is here that all are created and sustained, for within each soul is the eternal being and within each being resides every possibility and potential, every creation, and within that knowledge is the way to know the supreme as the being complete and containing all within the individual. we experience the universe not as something separate or detached, but rather as the internal space that awareness and consciousness within uses to experience everything. within us the universe is constructed and destructed every instant as we create and let go of our individual and universal awareness interacting with the world. we dont see our relationship to everything, but rather experience it internally and create the universe we experience around us inside and live there, both in our egoistic nature and in the pure nature of the being that both coexist and have no paradox to both being present in the same creation. but as we let go of the individual world the universal becomes dominant and slowly expands to include all possible realms of knowing and experiencing. soon nothing outward has any separate reality and the inner and outer become one truth and one divine moment of experience and beyond knowing, the being that has no limit or end becomes all that is and penetrates through the barrier we imagined of the unmanifest source. the habit of the individual mind, the individual consciousness is easily let go, we stop thinking in the context of relationships to individual objects and persons and evolve our awareness to see in terms of relationships to greater and more inclusive and diversified levels, we become our relationship to our community and to the environment, we become our relationship to a god greater than ourselves, we become the child of the sun, a brother traveler with the solar system, a master of the galaxies and finally the holder of the universe and the wielder of the universal forces, in this process we hold all that we know in larger and larger contexts until we become the universal being and all we know is everything and it is not in the individual nature of reality that we reside but  rather from the level of pure integration of all existence and consciousness through to the very experience of the creation and flow of the ananda becoming form and the holder of the knower of the nature of the form the true nature of the supreme as manifested through all the layers of existence. here the idea of life and death, truth and untruth, vanish and become the one infinite being that has no relationship to anything without for there is no sense of space or time and it is only within the absolute that existence can exist.