what is meaning?

 the elusive metaphor that explains, what reality is. we don’t want is to just be is, we want is to be something, a reason for is. it is for a reason. then we can make sense, prepare, recover, accept, deny whatever we need to do with what is. but if the idea of meaning is not, the reality doesn’t work. I want cause and effect, but that’s just a visual pun, the result of observer and observed, not intrinsic to the pieces. im closing some doors here. the purpose, meaning, hope, these all lack the foundation I seek. what is that which has no other, no dual nature, no temporary existence. all ideas, feelings, beliefs, exist to support their dual natures. life death, good bad, true false. whatever i can imagine has no intrinsic factual nature without its opposite to compare it to. i define life as what happens when we are not dead. death as unliving.  there is no permanence to anything  I  am or do. the flesh perishes, the light of the mind dissolves into darkness, the reality I experience disappears even as I go to sleep or even close my eyes. where is the truth of my senses. others are the same, some more stuck in who they are and others less so, but none exist outside the now, beyond the dual nature of existence. I look at meaning and think meaningless as if one is more real than the other, yet both exist simultaneously and neither brings any truth to what is. the isness sustains until I stop. all is and I am that departed unliving undead unfeeling unthinking meaningless awareness that is. beyond that vague concept, I know nothing that truly is me. the reality of existence is questionable and therefore unreal. if there is only the one, and I cling to that, what is the truth to all other. I am the only truth and what is for all is for me so where is the sense or the meaning of that except as the one being is and all I experience is that. there is no other separate, disconnected self or selves. the world of billions is one being existing, as one mind can be filled with billions of thoughts and feelings and memories and dreams so is the world just a dream of the being and I that dreamer, awakening.