Big party at the shiva temple

one thing about staying up all night, you get to feel a lot of weird stuff that you normally wouldnt since dreaming would handle all that. i feel like my hair is sensitive, my feet are too big and my nose is swollen, and thats just the physical. mentally im certain i must be deranged and deluded to be doing this, but im actually starting to like it here. i want to get my own house and just live, maybe even get an extension so i can stay more than 6 months and not have to leave. and i ve only been here for 2 days and it seems like weeks, well i guess its all in how you take it. the hotel makes it easy for 35 dollars a day and easy access to all the cafes and local sights. we're going for the walk around, some kinda girivalam or some nonsense, the walk around the mountain of power, shivas lingham. in a couple of days the huge celebration happens and hundreds of thousands of people are going to show up to party for 3 days and im being kicked out of the hotel in favor of the short term party animals who have been planning their little getaway for a year in advance, like the mountain might leave or something.well im going to my brothers house and i might just like it so much i'll stay there afterwards, we'll see. its just im not feeling so great about being in my brothers SAT energy anymore, i feel ive gotten all i need of it for now and i want to be in my energy here, and walk the mountain and meditate without any artificial intelligence mixed in. sure hes got it all going on ,but maybe i dont and dont need to, im pretty sure my fate is not his and i need to get that sorted out pretty quick here before i end up dead anyway. im playing the numbers game and the numbers are getting high, its a house holds the cards and all the odds are stacked against you but im holding out for the big score and im just getting started so i dont want that to affect my attitude which is the whole game on my side, its not what you do, its how you feel, solid, in the groove, cant be touched, thats the only way to get ahead with these sharks. the waters infested and im definitely got some skin in the game, not to mention blood on the water and the whole scene is some thing out of apocolypto or maybe colonel curtz in Apocalypse now, martin sheen and the pajama boys eating moldy rice and fishheads. i feel some kind of weird connection to the frontliners trying to sort out their lives waiting for the next IED to take a leg out or maximize the PTSD for a stateside run. its dawn, the mountain shrouded in a heavy mist and looking like a living heap of rock and dirt somnolent after a heavy nights feeding. im planning to offer up a little flesh myself soon, so im kinda glad its here.