its not a lot of spiritual or meditative energy lately, the busyness of moving out and in and stuck with constant noise and no access to anything during depam. what i was doing before and now are like night and day. india has thrown me out of awareness and into experience, i guess its a survival thing, being ready for the next thing, being reactive as the unknown or known appears. the hotel was good, the safety there, the comfort, access to the things i need everyday. moving to the sticks 5 miles away, is more difficult especially as the festival makes travel very difficult. i have been stuck in the house practically the last 3 days with a short trip to lunch at a 5 star hotel down a little used dirt road, very nice.but my meditations and energy seem to be subsiding, the world is too much in my face and i feel overwhelmed with all the small tasks that take so much energy here. i need some vegetables but finding decent ones seems like a huge project, so i stay with cereals and yogurt, toast and coffee, peanut butter. thats the size of my diet unless i eat out then its some unknown indian dish that might burn its way through me or deposit some unhealthy bacteria in me. its all a bit much to deal with, but as soon as depam ends i should be able to start getting around more and maybe find a way to get some regularity in my diet.
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