what human i this life

what human i this life so long yet unhurried to the end
the places come and i go yet no journey or comfort lacking
when need arises all the heavens stop to tend to this small servant
such grace but i so unworthy throw my self down and cry for love
no heart too small but the Mother will come to sit inside
joy like raindrops captured in a laughing smile fall from my eye
too simple am i to understand but knowing i can accept all and do what needs done
like the mist of consciousness forming over the sea of awareness
M: into the fabric of grace
beautiful life divine
what goes is the idea that any of this world is ours, including the self, the form, the ego the emotions all a play all the movement of universal life
nothing here to attach or identify with
no play that is not the divine play
we are just that movement set free from concern or planning
left to en joy the world to be the supreme nature come alive
you express the synthesis without the need of words
M: wonderful. it has a creation in my heart right now. maybe it shall happen
sounds of silence roaring in my heart
i dont really know why or how but i have taken the work given me and i cannot see beyond the end of my nose what is happening
i described it to Simran as pouring water into a well but being unable to see if it is filling
when the flood comes then i will know
i do know that life on this side of the void is without signs or clues
everything comes like a train with no tracks
no destinations or schedule
life is off the rails
its hard to describe but the truth has no form no shape and we can only trust the moment
so right now this is the shape of the path of the sadhana of the work
tomorrow there is no saying
thats why love is all love alone contains the whole in every molecule of existence
M: yes all to do is surrender each moment while operating this human life
the human has nothing but thinks it has something
it is so shocked when it is gone but it was never there
this world is a paradise of fools and a sacrifice for the seers to stay
M: yes I think one of my last human hurdles is just knowing im capable of anything
M: being divinely responsible
there is no truth greater than that you are everything
so what can be not done
and thats a lot to take responsibility for
and theres where the human falters
but the deed is already done and its only acceptance not doing that is required
for Mother does all and you become that piece of her play that weave of her design
and as you become that you are her
M: I aspire to be the perfect surrender
force of her force ananda of her Ananda
M: YES
its just a process for the human to accept the divine within through surrender to a form that is outside yet only a placeholder for the final reunification
there is no separation of the divine and the human
there is only the infinity of time and the emptiness of space that clouds our judgment
for all is here and never gone
and always has and will be
to remove the dimension of mind removes all doubt
for in that virtual world we create the illusion and delusion
and only there are we both master and slave to ourselves
free the inner slave, exit the movie theater of the mind
experience the sky as the light of your awakening
expanding in all directions and encompassing all
what ends this human life begins the divine birthing
and to be born in this body alive anew as the true self the undying freedom
then the universe is your intelligence and the unmanifest your truest self
M: thats relief
 there is no thing that exists other no part apart from you
you are the gluey bonding of the experiential awareness
bringing into being all and using all as the means of your will and purpose
this shell you exist in is just a tiny part of your machinations and deliberations set into worldly play and direction
you are there as well as everywhere and consciousness exists in all
let go the shell consciousness and expand into the unified continuum
unending waves of being becoming the bliss of experience
from creator to created the continuum forms and fold and collapses and recombines unending
this universe is only the moment and all happens continuously
what happened once is still here and never ends
the light that came is still shining now
the elements transformed and recombined a billion trillion ways are still the elements that have always been
and we the consciousness that set all into play and seeks all experience of the play and feeds upon the remains transforming all into its unending being
we are that being of unending delight
M: Its amazing how your words open doors for my consciousness to expand
from the limited differential nature to the eternal propulsive generator
 we are that all and have no way to know until the picture is shone in our eyes and ears from some outside source
but it is you holding the mirror to yourself
and seeing the eyes pulling you deeper into an unending tunnel
the reverberations forming pulsating sequences through unchanneled neurons
opening the empty spaces between your ears
hear your own voice calling you to deeper and deeper layers of stillness and silence
and rest in that vastness undying as the well of being descends through every layer of unconscious unmanifest unknowable truth
and from there emerge the awakened mother to become the universal play that discovers its own undying love and seeks forever that intense ananda of union
the divine becomes you and all you were is no more
yet nothing has changed, the world still spins the universe vast and starry array
yet the glow is your own radiance and love is your own heart everywhere
and each being a sparkle of the glow a touch of that heartbeat
perhaps you can share this with those who could not make it today
thursdays wildman talk
M: sure :)
M: (nod)
its of the same vein as all my talks
the main artery of the heart