hopeless endurance

hopeless endurance, racing without a finish line, in a mass of humanity fighting for every step, the prize something better, the loss something worse, there is nothing to indicate success or failure but everything is judged and measured, every statistic examined and calculated against all others. the scoreboard is full of numbers and names constantly changing, the results found lost in the obituaries, under the calendar of past events. what life this, why live when there is nothing but the endless grasping for what we have already. to claim that which was given and withhold it from all others for ourselves. this earth is endless paradise, filled with plenty and watered with the blood of our ancestors, who fled tyranny and oppression in order to terrorize and oppress others, to bring our suffering to the new world and let loose the horrors we can only imagine. to take without conscience, and then complain when our lives become a trembling fear that what was done in the past will be delivered once more to our door, like to like and from the past to the future,all things like a circle go round and round. the mind spins in the moment, racing to comprehend the massive amount of unexperienced trauma we have yet to experience as the measures of our karma are in deep denial. why did christ climb the cross and give flesh and blood and what sins had man committed that demanded the lamb be slaughtered with the lion. there is no new life, just the rehash of the old again and again until it is transcended through sacrifice and service to all others and without thought for ones self. where did blood become water and wine the forgetful bacchanal of indulgence, what sins do we constantly repeat that have no religion to define their punishment. we carry the burdens given us by those who brought us here and gave us our lives, there is no loss but just more baggage, and the more we cling, the greater the load we put upon our children, for they are the beasts of the past come to feast upon the future. there is no here and now until all is laid to rest and paid for, no easy wall to toss the past over and forget where everything came from, the walls are mortared with the blood and bone of the slaves and the victims of the victors of past wars, those we praise and point to for our inspiration, the ones that make the world safe for our little piece of the blood pie everyone is eating. have love in your heart and give everything away, for only this freedom brings release and not the bondage we all carry.