the task of enlightenment is a poor one indeed

the task of enlightenment is a poor one indeed. it lacks the motivation of the unworthy and the focus of the aspirant for what has more conceit and vanity attached to it than attainment. to even play in the garden of divine love and purest being, to mulch the fruit trees of surrender and devotion, dripping in the void filled  with inextinguishable elimination, endless reduction and certain nonexistence. to be that which is the least becomes the very point that halts the endless flow of eternal ending. nothing becomes integrated with something and refuses to stop. what ever it was it cant change and changing that wont change anything. the effort to not struggle becomes an endless tug of war, ceasing the ceaseless ocean of change even as the unending sea of time stops and all the great rivers collapse into the one and flow to the source where all ends meet in the endless waters of being. aspiring to be just a drop of this one descends uncontrollably to the depths beyond all awareness where completion is nuanced with nothing. the edge extrapolates infinitely and has no form but hopeless swells of volume without space. the one drop is spread across the eternity of non being and becomes an empty ocean of existence and all that was lost is forever gone as the despair erupts with desire and flesh knows its only master. i want that which has no forever, no eternity, no infinitude of being. let the meat draw and the blood flow again and again with the wanting and pleasures and decay for even this heart is empty enough without knowing what love is.