i stand where the mercy of god cannot protect me

i stand where the mercy of god cannot protect me. there is no higher source or greater good. the world its devious and enchanting ways pale before the reality of naked truth. no mountain, no star, no galaxies or universe created me, but unexamined nothing remains in the well of knowledge. what truth am i, this soul that has no other, no sense of brotherhood or friend, no love lost or gained, no shared meaning or intention. the watcher before and behind me, the undoer and the unknowable.not just a silent replica, but the connection to the perpetual eternity. we seek to find the shelter of each other, to find truth in union and fellowship, but none exists beyond this moment, this flesh, this day in the sun and rain. what we seek we find and we rejoice or commiserate with our fellows and friends, that is our protection from the rays of the undying light. its said no relationships exist, none are made or broken  except what god wills. think this through, for what is it that we take with us, the leap beyond the body, is there family and friends, enemies and lovers. Are we not alone, even if one exists, is there another. from what source derives us all, one common spark from which all fire is lit. and if one fire only is burning, then we all burn together no matter what our due in this lifetime after lifetime of existence. but beyond this, for those of us that know death is just a breath away, where is that door leading us. and is it the same door we came through just swinging the other way. i lay down my thought of having any say in this matter and await my final enlightenment, perhaps consciously this time, since the last million times didnt stick, but then what can to this emptiness disguised as a man.