its not that bliss doesnt exist

its not that bliss doesnt exist its that there is nothing, nothing at all. whatever it is we experience is gone, leaving the world empty and formless and beyond recovery. the road back is no longer open, the road ahead is gone. it becomes clear there is only this and nothing and this seems like nothing but i am this and what does that mean.no expectation, or memory, no time or place to be.  purpose vaporizing off the sense of intention lost somewhere in the last part of the ride. everything got me here and now what is it, the last ghost train to the next station and as i get off the whole station, tracks, train, all disappear and where this is vanishes as i lose my sense of separation and what was is no longer and what is cant be distinguished. i am form without shape, time without a clock, place without a map. i know sense intuit, there is as i am, but i cannot sense anything separate no othering or doing or knowing just liquidness evaporating.i would sell out all my friends, condemn them to death as they already are, to get back into the matrix and taste the steak and onions one more time, and never know i wasnt always there. some pissed on peon life would be more than this and theres no sense of loss only dull awareness of what i was escaping from to be lost in the freedom of living without knowing who i am. i know there was a book or a movie that said there was more to come, but what is more to everything, and what can come from nothing. the truth is in your mind and your heart and your flesh, not here, not in the absence of existence.