try to capture the sun

try to capture the sun, the source, to shine eternally alone in space, bringing life and all its miracles into being, yet never to be that but to sacrifice an eternity to giving, this solar system, this tiny parsec of space, one lives as an outpost, behind barricaded walls and guarding the prize that has no value but is desired above all, the self, the tiny creation of birth, the thing so fragile it only exists in the illusion of the mind and disappears each night when sleep overtakes the soul. always watchful protecting all it is and all it wants, and thinking this is mine and mine alone, as if some dream can possess you after waking. the sweetness of life is its brevity, its eternal change, the lightness of its joys and the density of its destructions. I cast my hopes into the waters of the flowing river and they are gone, the childish thoughts of younger days for that is long past, I see now the oceanic truth that once begun this voyage has no end. we few gathered on the deck of the ark of truth, sailing the ocean of love, casting only our own lives into the endless waves, there is no destination, only the waters and the shoreline so far distant, each an island and each the whole world round clamoring for time, more time, to have more do more more and more. the last refugees board the good ship surrender, each deposits whatever they have on the shore before boarding, and climb aboard alone and naked. there is nothing on the ship, no lights, no music, no books no food, and no place to go. the waves push the hull and the wind guides the sails, and every shore is a foreign destination, a carnival of passion and pleasure, but there is no port called home. this is the voyager of the spirit, apart from the world yet always in it, experiencing everything, as through a heavy cloth, for all is the veil of the material world and the casting of the senses into the pool of desires. to want to need this life above all, and to let go of that like tossing the lamp overboard in the moonless night, and letting the stars guide everything. what matter the having when there is no one to have. the boat will dock where it is taken and some get on and some jump off, but always the waters widen, the minds drifts to the directionless distances and the heart becomes the waters filling everywhere. only the source of life sustains and the lone experiencer continues in devotion to the sun.