the first few minutes of awakening

for the third morning in a row, its 3am, the door is mysteriously swung open, the mosquitoes have woken me, devouring the healthy veins of my weathered body, tanning slowly in the tropical heat as i hike without my shirt now up and down the side of Arunachala. I cannot sleep once woken and no memory of my dreams remain. the layers of lumps from nights of the door being opened by some unknown force and the tribes feasting upon my blood, vaguely itch but in an hour or two they will be forgotten. i dont react like i used to. the power is off of course and the night sky has a silver lining from the half moon still orbiting the earth directly above. the fierce winds have blown all the chairs across the yard and the clouds cling to the roof of the mountain like pizza dough flung across the sky and caught trying to get over the top.stars peek out from the edges of the night winking and bouncing through the swift moving layers of the wind. i am dressed only in my boxers and the air is warm and soft even as the air blows hard against me. i am held in this hand of warmth and caressing love, flowing over me and all the fields around. the crops are harvested and gone, leaving only brown stubs where once water and frogs and birds frolicked. now its rice eaten and forgotten. the mosquitoes flourishing unabated and hungry, true survivors, not affected by the currents food fads and preferences of its victims, sucking the blood of meat eaters and vegetarians alike. i retreat into my humid room, fanless except for the weak pulse of the battery fan that needs 8 new D cells to make any headway against this heavy and torpid atmosphere. i turn on the computer and the LED display lights up, the only light in the room as all my battery lights have outlived their batteries and my recharger cant keep up with the crazy half day/night schedules of the power misers ruled by some mysterious power czar that has no idea what its like to only get power when he allows it. the screen lights the computer boots, the little battery icon says 34% remaining (20 min) i quickly check my email for any sign of my overdue disability check, but nothing has come, i can only assume ive been disqualified due to my robust health these days.as i go through the windows of email providers and FB and such, the screen grows bizarre as every crawling and waking and hopping and flying insect attaches itself to the lit up display. the giant cockroach flattens out along the edge and him i swat, the rest move like a distracting cloud morphing in design from one area of the screen to another in manic motions. all this in the first 15 minutes of what is to be a most perfect and powerful day. before its ended, i will have experienced the world i inhabit as heaven and the universe as my own creation. the truth of what can be is never revealed until the moment it happens,expect nothing, accept everything, be in supreme love and delight.