the first rule

the first rule of fight club, the last thing you see before you die, the secret of a brief but authentic existence, all lie within reach, all escape our velocity to embrace what is and let go of what isn't. by the time I get started someone else has done and gone, the trails are made before you get there. to find the truth you cannot follow, you cannot rely or compare because truth doesn't work like that. its all you, up to you depending on your fortitude, to stick with the feeling, the undeniable nature of the heart to love and seek love and to not stop because love fails. it isn't love that gives up, its the weakness of resolve, the million and one other things that attract and repulse the senses. you are not the reaction, just the single point of being that cannot be a part of anything but is the thing it seeks itself. for the wholeness that is sought is always within, to be complete is not to be made up of things but to be free of anything that isn't truly natural to be. you are your natural self. when the light touches the eyes, you see, you don't have any sight in the darkness, that is where the true vision occurs, without external light. because it is not the senses that brings the truth into your heart, its the non-senses, the internal awareness of the unknowable insights. one truly exists apart from all the external noise and intrusion. only the self at peace has any chance of knowing what that is. to rely on the senses is to be caught upon the reflections of light and the reflections of the mind as it parses and interprets the recording of the senses. its past and reexamined by the time your awareness touches the recording. here now without pause or reflection is the truth. that's all there is, everything else is a projected reflected conflicted rehash of the mind. be truthful and there is no pause. what is exists regardless, persists beyond the denial or embrace. you have no other to compare or share or inform or describe. what is, has no name, is everywhere, never decays or changes. acceptance and surrender ease the struggle, but you are the point of convergence.