to be in meditation

to be in meditation, to sit without thought or mind or desire to be anywhere else, to become the one moment, empty of identity and location. lost in the moment that drifts without memory. the self opens like a whirlwind deflated the detritus of its passage falling silent to the ground the winding spinning force stills, and what remains of that whirling spout, that center of motion, the locus of the gathered energy? it is gone and so is the illusory self, just wind stopped, nothing remains but the air still and the leaves and dirt fallen in disarray, no longer organized no more a part of anything. so the self is just energy just a temporary holding place for the being to experience the transitory nature of separate existence. So to this holding place, this shelf of self that we so worship, we give all our attention to, and so everything seems disappointing, changing, defeating all expectations of permanence, yet to this we cast all our hopes and dreams and life energy, knowing that it comes from nothing, and dissolves away the same one day. the truth is in the stillness, to take apart its illusion of motion and organization long enough to experience the force that brought it into existence, that lives it, that animates the thought of existence within each whirling entity of life. before life all being is one, experiencing the nature of self is dreaming and the awareness of the ocean is in every wave and eddy, no part is separate from the whole. it is only in the physical animation that one loses the sense of connection, becomes the brief experience of separateness, and knows suffering. and here is where karma becomes a force, in the suffering of living beings, for what is the truth of this life but the desire to end that suffering, that the little whirlwind would become weak or lost from the other whirlwinds, to know the source of the wind, to be that which gives the spin, to know all wind and air and emptiness where neither can be, to share the awareness that we are not that, but that which is the very stuff of the universe and its place of birth and death, that no wind is come or gone but only all is one wind and that can never stop, never let go of the vastness of the space or the vast space beyond. one being living in all, born and died and forever becoming one with the infinite separate selves each the expression of the one love one heart one soul forever.