the quest done

the quest done, my head rolls gently on my neck. i speak softly and admire the birds flying through the air. once there was more, some extra feelings, some thoughts, a banked fire of desires within, struggling with each moment to be come a passion or a problem. now the emptiness is full and the starry nights empty. no more the wondering and make believe magic, but the fullness of existing in everything and everyone, no life is lived that has not been mine, no deed too horrible or love too wonderful, all the steps of becoming done and gone. the shell remaining is pleased to be undone, the life lived finished, the pieces falling apart where there was only dreamstuff holding it together. waking up is the endless summer. everyday the same completion, the light lovingly full and the heart unmoved for all its beating, there is all the world to see and nothing to do. what little remains is the same, one always has no other to be or care for anything. the movement  of the body through time and space is automatic and effortless. where i go is anywhere and what occurs is endless being. outward, nothing changes, the little habits remain as if the paint cannot be removed from the canvas, but underneath the thin veneer there is pure white with no design or thought. what today is, becomes and i have no place in it except filling the bowl with the fruit and grains and yogurt and feeding the flesh one more time. the places i climb to are empty and devoid of the traces of men, their emptiness is complete and filled with joy at the lack of intrusion or change. there i would go without a care for myself, the rock strewn faces and steep washes of stone, communions with the tree dwellers and forest folk alike, i sit alone and am the oneness only.

its the end of this separate life

its the end of this separate life. my death is not only assured, its already complete. we arrive living in a separate self, a creature driven by desire and unconsciousness. what matter this if i am just a knot of misery and need. the life is assured to end and beyond that is nothing. take what i can now and damn the rest. every priest and salesman in the world preaches their particular form of snake oil but only i am the decider of my fate. the truth is die now, in the flesh, to the separate being, to the ego needs and desires, let it all go, merge into the being, the oneness the unity and realize there is nothing left to lose. that the death we fear is just the body being replaced, released and liberation is at hand. in this life i have become the truth of who i really am. the undying,ever present being of illumined awareness and unmanifest eternity. what remains is the ultimate the unchanging the truth.the little self is done, gone, the fretting and needing, worrying and conniving, the happy/sad/ glad/mad/ unreal/denying self that couldnt let go of anything. finally died, became an untied knot, disappeared as it was undone, unwound, leaving only traces of emptied space.what exists in its place is the true nature, the being that has always directed the highest order of the existence, the joyous and caring and loving soul that has nothing to want or need or feel. the completness of the truth is undeniable yet inexplicable. when it happens the light remains to shine on the unending purity of the moment untouched by the yet to be or already gone. there exists only what is and i am all of that and not just a part trying to grasp more to fill the whole that is missing. i live undying as i have left what dies behind, it is not death that comes but the end of suffering.

ask and it is given

people ask me a question, i try to answer it even if there is no answer, like where is this heading, as if there is a direction or a place other than here and now. the work is a progression of stages and each plays out in the psyche and soul of the being through which everyone experiences life. there is only one direction and it is inward, to the center of the universe within. outward is more maya,  inward is the end of it, the drama the bullshit, the lies. i stop before i tell people anything.what to do how to do it what happens where this is headed. there is nowhere and nothing the truth has no face, the end is not the beginning, what you want is never what you get. i experience unsleeping energy, shaken like a leaf in a hurricane, i rise, sniffling and tired, in side a small quaking is all i am. the sunrise spreading joy to the trees i know and walked with yesterday. the giant pines. the crowning summit of the mountain welcoming me. i am the creature of the forest and the legend of the hills. there is nowhere for me to go, the world is one place and not many, each moment is a difference that cannot be experienced but only lived, i connect as one, the universal being, the emptiness and everything that is spawned, i become that and any vestige of who or what i was empties in to the vast sink of awareness and emptiness that surrounds all and nothing at all.